Karissa Rafferty Compiled Work PR

I had a rather impactful day, and as I was processing it all in a Word Doc I decided to share it with ya’ll. It’s nothing less than a very real, uncensored account of everything lately. I hope you all enjoy and benefit from my intimate self-disclosure here. 🙂 I am Karissa, and I am a writer.

Today. I slept right through my 3am alarm, woke up on my OWN at 5:45am (Thank you, lord). Ate soup and chobani, cracked  open my amp; got right to my comm 400 homework, wrote my Spanish essay, started my Comm 400 research paper. Got ready (and looked pretty good if I do say so myself!) in 25 minutes, put my Spanish skit props together, bolted out the door to go meet my Spanish group at 9 45am, made it to campus, reviewing my Spanish script to memory as I was walking to Sub I. 10:30am, Spanish class, we are the first group to volunteer to go, and we rock it, making the class and professor laugh. Humility.

I get out of class at 11, head to the dining hall and load up on fruit and salad, text my boyfriend, pray, and head to the computer lab with coffee in hand. I finish the Comm 400 paper (not my best paper, but still 5 pages of solid-ish research), hack out a survey questionnaire thingy in relation to my paper’s research focus, print it out, email professor a copy, make it to class by 1:25pm. Some girl is in my usual seat behind my class mate friend, so I’m forced to sit really close to the group that kicked me out. Cool. At this point I’m battling exhaustion, dizziness and annoyance at the proximity to two girls with absolutely no empathy skills. Humility.

My dad sends me a text to ask how my crazy day is going and tells me to come home again tonight. Okay, I can do this. Then Of COURSE, the last 30 minutes of class we have to talk amongst our “groups” (aka ME!) and write down 4 examples of the lecture (4 different hypothesis’ categories) in relation to our study. I sit quietly by myself and write it out, and I can hear every word my old group is saying. We still have the same topic. Professor asks for 3 volunteers to share our examples on the projector overhead. Two people go. Then crickets for like 5 minutes when she asks for a third volunteer. Fuck it, I thought, and walked my ass up with my notes and share it with the class. Humility.

I get out of class, feeling super lonely, memories of the past 3 years’ craziness and shenanigans floating in my head, especially when I see a group of 3 girls walking together all laughing and close, going to lunch together at Southside, or going to study together, or just watch a movie in their dorms together. That was me, Janine and Marcey one year. Inseparable. I was never alone, never felt sad, because they were always bugging me to get out of work early at my office of student media job to come meet them at Starbucks or something. Both those girls turned out to be the most undependable and hurtful friends I’ve ever had once they graduated. Humility.

I go to Taco Bell and talk to my mom on the phone, she makes me feel better and a little less lonely. This stranger goes out of her way while I’m waiting for my food to hand me a straw for my drink (I didn’t even try to go over to that station because it was so busy). Wow, people don’t suck after all. Humility.

I have managed to stay calm and composed all day, even excited to conquer all these seemingly endless assignments. But I almost lose it when I’m about to walk into my class room building and there’s a random guy just sitting on the bench, jamming out on his guitar by himself, playing a pretty song. I am so glad I am wearing friggin’ sun glasses because I start to cry. I cry because in 5-6 weeks, I won’t have crazy days like this anymore. I won’t be walking on this beautiful campus, enjoying the weather and drinking good coffee and evaluating all the weird outfits girls wear these days. I realize how much I’m going miss it all, despite the lonely, supremely frustrating days when I don’t have any money because I can’t work very much. Humility.

I get to class, my favorite class with Dr. Chaaban. He picks on me all the time because I was in his class last year and he’s so fun and slightly awkward. I pull out my brother’s wratched beat up Dell laptop and it takes FOREVER to boot up and connect to the internet, then let me log onto Blackboard. I think there’s some remnants of weed in the cracks between “K” and “O.” Dr. Chaaban has to put in a password for the exam. He very loudly makes a funny comment about how dirty this computer is, and how he can try to find me another one at a thrift store maybe. Ha.Ha. I ask if he would like some hand sanitizer then (jokingly.) He actually says yes, then tells ME to use some too. Oh, boy. Gotta love it. Good thing I was born with a Rafferty sense of humor, good grief! I take his online exam. I think I get a 75% or something. Who knows, who cares. Im just glad I made it. Now it’s time for lecture, which goes by super fast because his lectures are always so fun and interesting, engaging. I think he makes a few more jokes at my expense, but whatever, I laugh too. I see I got a 90% on the paper I had fun writing this past Saturday. Sweet.

This day was very very long, but so satisfying. I feel amazing. I see the look on my Comm 400 and Spanish professor’s (both classes I was in a lot of trouble in-midterms), and I see their hope in me, their faith, their desire to see me continue to turn things around and succeed. Yes, am moody and yes, I have slacked off significantly lately for whatever internal reason. Yes, I have a crazy life and a very crazy family with their own issues (all 3 members struggling to find employment? Even though they’re all smart and capable and….whatever).

But damn, I am loved. I am loved by God, first and foremost, who never fails to come through for me whether by waking me up at 5 45am just in time, or sending somebody to give me a little straw for my drink when I feel the most lonely. I am loved by my insane family members, who lend me their busted computers and give me $20 when I need it the most. I am loved by my incredible boyfriend who supports me 150% of the time, and sends me amazing texts I never want to forget, and loves me even when I’m a selfish immature hooligan who makes silly choices still here and there.

And yes, I am feeling nostalgic for today and yesterday because I had two delicious ciders and I’m tired, damnit. 😉 And I am Karissa Rafferty. And even though it has been an uphill struggle, I am about to graduate from George Mason. And I won’t ever quit. Friggin’ Humility.